How do I tell my roommate their significant other is over way too much without ruining the friendship?

Ugh, I've been through this exact situation. Here's how I handled it without destroying the friendship: **First, get your thoughts together:** - This is about the arrangement, not the person - You have every right to bring this up - The longer you wait, the harder it gets **How to approach it:** Pick a calm, private moment (not when she's there). Don't ambush them. Say something like: "Hey, I wanted to talk about something and I hope this doesn't come out wrong. I really like [girlfriend's name], but I've noticed she's been staying over most nights lately. When we signed the lease, I expected it would just be the two of us sharing the space and expenses. Can we talk about setting some boundaries?" **Suggest concrete solutions:** - Limit overnight stays to 2-3 nights per week - If more, she should contribute to utilities - Shared groceries need to be replaced - She shouldn't be there when roommate isn't home **If they get defensive:** - Stay calm - Stick to facts, not emotions - Reference your lease (many have guest policies) - Remind them you want to preserve the friendship Most reasonable people understand once it's pointed out. They probably don't realize how much she's there. If they refuse to compromise, that tells you something about them. Good luck - this conversation sucks but you'll feel so much better after.