Feedback is how we grow. Yet giving and receiving feedback remains challenging for most people. Mastering these skills accelerates personal development and strengthens working relationships.
Why Feedback Matters
Without feedback:
- Blind spots remain hidden
- Strengths go unrecognized
- Improvement lacks direction
- Problems fester and grow
- Relationships remain superficial
Organizations with strong feedback cultures outperform those without, according to Gallup research on employee engagement.
Giving Effective Feedback
The SBI Model
A simple framework for feedback:
- Situation: When and where did this happen?
- Behavior: What specifically did you observe?
- Impact: What effect did it have?
Example: "In yesterday's meeting (Situation), when you interrupted Susan twice (Behavior), she seemed to withdraw and didn't share her ideas afterward (Impact)."
Focus on Behavior, Not Character
Comment on what people do, not who they are:
- Not: "You're disorganized"
- Better: "The report was submitted three days late"
Be Specific
Vague feedback isn't actionable:
- Not: "Great presentation"
- Better: "Your data visualizations made complex information clear, and you handled questions confidently"
Balance Positive and Constructive
People need to know what's working, not just what's not. Genuine positive feedback reinforces strengths and builds trust.
Be Timely
Feedback is most useful close to the event. Don't save it for annual reviews.
Consider the Recipient
- Choose appropriate setting (private for critical feedback)
- Consider their emotional state and readiness
- Adapt your approach to their preferences
- Focus on their development, not your frustration
Receiving Feedback Gracefully
Listen Without Defending
Your first instinct may be to explain or justify. Instead:
- Listen fully before responding
- Ask clarifying questions
- Assume positive intent
- Thank the person for their honesty
Seek to Understand
If feedback is vague, ask for specifics:
- "Can you give me an example?"
- "What would better look like?"
- "How did that impact you/the team?"
Separate Emotion from Information
Feedback can sting. Take time to process emotions before deciding what to do with the content.
Evaluate Thoughtfully
Not all feedback is valid or actionable:
- Look for patterns across multiple sources
- Consider the giver's perspective and possible biases
- Decide what to accept, what to investigate, and what to set aside
Act on What's Useful
Feedback only helps if you do something with it. Create action plans for development areas.
Seeking Feedback Proactively
Don't wait for feedback—request it:
- After projects or presentations
- Regularly from supervisors
- From peers and direct reports
- About specific skills you're developing
Make it easy for others to be honest:
- Ask specific questions
- Express genuine interest in improving
- React calmly to constructive feedback
- Follow up on feedback you've received
Difficult Feedback Situations
When You Disagree
You can disagree without being defensive:
- Acknowledge the perspective
- Share your view calmly
- Seek to understand the gap
- Agree on next steps
When Feedback Is Delivered Poorly
Focus on extracting useful content even if delivery is lacking. You can address delivery separately.
When You're the Leader
Those with authority must work harder to get honest feedback. Create psychological safety and actively invite candor.
Feedback skills support all aspects of professional development, from leadership growth to goal achievement. Seek feedback actively, give it generously, and use it to continuously improve.
