How can I set up a bank account for my college student child that allows me to monitor their spending without being overly restrictive?

I totally get where you're coming from - you want to give your child the freedom to manage their finances, but also keep an eye on things to make sure they're not getting into trouble. I think a joint account could be a good option for you, as it would allow you to see their transactions and budgeting, but also give them the independence to make their own financial decisions. You could also consider a custodial account, but since your child is 20, a joint account might be a better fit.

I've heard good things about banks like Bank of America and Wells Fargo, which offer joint accounts with online access, so you can both see the account activity and transactions. You could also look into online banks like Ally or Capital One, which often have more flexible account options and better interest rates. Ultimately, the best bank and account type will depend on your child's specific needs and your own financial situation, so it's worth doing some research and comparing options.

In terms of talking to your child about money management, I think it's great that you're thinking about how to have this conversation without being too controlling. I would suggest having an open and honest conversation with your child about your concerns and expectations, and also listening to their perspective and goals. You could also consider setting some boundaries and guidelines together, such as a budget or spending limits, to help them stay on track. Remember that it's okay to make mistakes - it's all part of the learning process, and your child will likely appreciate your guidance and support.

Overall, I think the key is to find a balance between giving your child independence and providing guidance and support. By having open and honest conversations and finding the right bank account and tools, you can help your child develop good money management habits and set them up for long-term financial success. I hope this helps, and I wish you and your child all the best in navigating this new chapter!